


guess we're doing oneshots now

by 19RosesofLifeandDeath98



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Multi, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, especially Bodhi and Jyn, rogue one crew being homies, they're best buds, this is just the dumping ground for all of the minifics i have written but have nothing to do with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 17:52:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13980339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19RosesofLifeandDeath98/pseuds/19RosesofLifeandDeath98
Summary: collection of rogue oneshots (mostly rebelcaptain)





	1. The words have been on the edge of her lips since he first opened his eyes in the medbay after Scarif.

**Author's Note:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

The words have been on the edge of her lips since he first opened his eyes in the medbay after Scarif. He smiles at her blearily and it’s almost the first thing out of her mouth.  

_I love you._

It feels crazy, and he’s  _heavily_ medicated, so she decides against it. Instead she holds his hand and returns his smile and tells herself that’s enough for now.

There are several instances – more than she’d like to admit – where panic almost forces the words out of her mouth. Either she’s bleeding out on the floor of the ship or a blaster bolt lands just shy of Cassian’s head and she realizes how temporary they are. She nearly says it because the thought of one of them dying without him knowing  _terrifies_  her.

She can’t say much of anything when he’s coming undone beneath her. It’s the look of him, the  _feel_ of him, the trust he’s giving her that leaves her utterly speechless. She tries, but pleasure blurs the words into a moan.

Oddly enough, she says it when there’s seemingly no reason to. They’re in bed, his head tucked against her shoulder, her hands running lazily through his hair. He’s almost asleep. She has no idea why she says it.

“I love you.”

The room reaches a new level of quiet as he looks at her. She doesn’t shy away, just keeps stroking his hair. When he kisses her, she wonders what took her this kriffing long.

 

 


	2. They’re in bed, curled together like a single being the first time Jyn hears him sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

They’re in bed, curled together like a single being the first time Jyn hears him sing. It begins as a hum, nearly inaudible. She feels it against her cheek as she traces the scars across his chest.   
“What’s that?” she asks when he’s finished, her whole body tingling with excitement at the discovery.   
He blinks at her, confused, until he realizes what he was doing. He blushes, slightly embarrassed.   
“It’s a Festian love song. I remember my mother singing it to my father all the time.”   
They share a tentative smile, still so flustered by outward displays of affection.   
“What are the words?”   
It feels briefly like she’s asking too much, for him to share this secret, but he simply smiles and lets his eyes lids fall closed.   
His voice is softer than she ever could have imagined. She breathes in every rise and fall of his language, hoping someday she’ll be able to tell him.   
I love you too much


	3. Chirrut feels her presence drawing closer long before he hears her scamble up to the roof of the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

Chirrut feels her presence drawing closer long before he hears her scamble up to the roof of the ship. It is a tranquility, like lying back in a gentle ocean, that he’d first felt on Jedha.

“Jyn,” he says fondly as she takes her place beside him. Inhaling, he captures a sharp, citrusy scent, “What do you have, there?”

“Tea? Bodhi spotted it when we were in the market place today. He said it was popular on Jedha. I thought…”

She trails off, flustered, and Chirrut’s smile broadens. He takes the cup from her and feels her lean in as he takes his first sip. He’s tempted to pretend it’s terrible, just to rile her up. But there is something muddy in her aura, something on her mind, so he won’t.

“It’s wonderful, Jyn. Thank you. Now what’s troubling you?”

“Nothing.” she says quickly, and he waits until she’s worked up the courage to be honest with him. “It’s just… I heard you and Baze arguing earlier, before we left Yavin.”

Ah, there it is. Chirrut presses his lips together and nods, admitting to it.

After a long silence, Jyn says, “I know it’s not what he wanted, to stay on with the Rebellion. Kriff,  _I_  didn’t think it was something I wanted until…” he can practically feel her flush, “Anyway, I just… I hope…  _oh, kriff_.”

She pulses with frustration beside him, and Chirrut understands. The three of them, Jyn, Bodhi, and the captain, were all so unfamiliar with family. Rogue One was so new, so precious too them, that they lived in constant fear, waiting for something to take it away.

He reaches out to rest his hand atop her knee, “Baze is alright, little sister. He is fighting his own battle, just as each of us are. He is trying to understand where his place is.”

“I want it to be here, with us.” Jyn says, almost shyly.

“I believe he does, too, he’s just having trouble admitting that.” he elbows her lightly, “I’m sure you of all people can sympathize.”

She groans and lies back on the metal roof. Chirrut sips his tea, casting his face upward.

“Any stars, tonight?”

“Millions.” Jyn says, and they sit in comfortable silence until the tea is finished.


	4. Jyn’s aware that Cassian is staring at her before she even opens her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

Jyn’s aware that Cassian is staring at her before she even opens her eyes. They’re wretchedly dry and she immediately wants to go back to sleep, but she manages to offer a good morning smile. He chuckles, though she’s not sure why.

“What time is it.” she mumbles.

He peers over her head at the wall clock. “06:23. We’ve got a meeting in half an hour.”

Jyn groans. They only landed on base a few hours ago, not even bothering to change out of their ornate imperial disguises before collapsing into bed.

Cassian is still smiling like a fool and Jyn’s growing more suspicious. He casts his eyes downward and she follows them, gaping at the plethora of stains on her pillow. She jumps out of bed and flicks on the light in their tiny fresher. Sure enough, the makeup she’d used in her disguise is smudged all over her face. She’d been too tired last night to even think about taking it off.

Cassian allows the slightest chuckle and she snaps her head around to him.

“You look like a tooka cat.” He says, sitting up.

Jyn pads back over to the bed, leveling her face close to his. “A tooka cat that’s been living in the gutter most of its life.”

“Are you going to attend the meeting like that?”

“No.” she says wickedly. He raises an eyebrow. “We are.”

He yelps as she attacks with sloppy, staining kisses.


	5. Jyn is worried about Bodhi. That’s not particularly out of the ordinary, but he’s concerning her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

Jyn is worried about Bodhi. That’s not particularly out of the ordinary, but he’s  _concerning_ her. Normally any member of Rogue One – except maybe Kay – is able to calm him down with a few soothing words, and even on his wort days, Cassian still manages to reach him.

These past few weeks have definitely been some of his worst, and everyone is at a loss. Today he’d seemed so distracted Jyn thought he was losing consciousness. Enough is enough.

She gently knocks twice on his door, answered by a startled yelp and what she’s certain is the sound of shuffling papers. It’s almost as peculiar as the loud  _slam_ that follows before the door hisses open.

“Hey Jyn!” Bodhi says in a voice too high, wearing a smile far too wide.

“May I come in?”

“Sure, yes, of course.” He seems to realize how suspicious he’s making himself look and drops the smile, waving her to step inside.

Jyn sits politely on the edge of his bed. She’s about to ask what’s going on when her focus zeros in on his blackened hands.

“What’s that?”

Bodhi looks at his palms then stuffs them in his pockets. “Nothing.” At her unimpressed gaze, he sighs and removes them. “It’s just oil from fixing the engine.”

“You did that hours ago, and that doesn’t look like oil.”

“Jyn, it’s no big deal.”

“It is if it has something to do with what’s been bothering you.”

Bodhi blinks at her as if he’s surprised she noticed.

(More likely, he’s surprised anyone cares. He’s not used to having people watch out for him, just like they’re not use to having people worth protecting.)

Giving in, Bodhi pads over to the trunk at the foot of his bed and opens it. Jyn’s lips part in awe. It’s filled with what must be hundreds of sketches. He grabs a stack off the top and hands it to her.

“That one’s not finished.”

Jyn is mesmerized by her own eyes staring back at her, though the rest is just an outline. She mulls through the other pages. They’re mostly members of Rogue One, but there are several landscapes that Jyn recognizes from Jedha. She’s so immersed in the art she nearly misses Bodhi’s anxious fidgeting.  

“Bo, these are  _amazing_.”

Instead of looking relieved, Bodhi tenses further and launches into a rushed explanation. “I did it all the time when I was a kid… well, I guess whenever Mama could afford to buy ink. I had to stop when I enlisted but… G-Galen encouraged me to start again and it… it helps me, you know, calm down. I ran out of paper a few weeks ago and we’ve been hopping from mission to mission… there just didn’t seem to be time and… and then Chirrut brought back a bunch from the village this morning. I don’t know how he knew but he’s… you know. It’s all I’ve been able to think about all day so if I seemed distracted I’m sorry I just…”

He finally runs out of breath and collapses onto the bed beside her. Jyn shakes her head, but she’s smiling fondly as she rests her hand atop his knee.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Bodhi. We were worried about you, that’s all.” She holds up the sketches. “I wish you’d told us about this. We would have found you paper weeks ago.”

He looks away sheepishly. She nudges him with her elbow. “But I understand why you didn’t. You didn’t want to make anything about yourself, yeah? You put the mission first because that’s what you thought we’d want you to do.”

“Sound like anyone you know?” He narrows his eyes playfully, but Jyn rejects the accusation.

“Yes, yes we all know Cassian has a martyr complex.” Bodhi laughs. “But I’m not talking about him.” Her hand moves to his shoulder and squeezes. “I’m talking about  _you_ , Bo. You’re mental health is just as important to me – to everyone as your physical health. If drawing helps you, we’ll make it a priority, understand?”

Bodhi looks as though he’s about to cry, so he nods mutely and wraps his arms around her. Jyn is careful not to crush the drawings in her hand and hugs him back fiercely.

A few days later, Bodhi slips his latest portrait under her door, and it’s perfect.


	6. It is Jyn’s every intention to ignore the knocking on her door, just as she’s been doing all day, but the way Cassian says her name is so affectionate, so concerned, that she forces herself out of bed and slumps against the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh
> 
> if you want something, message me
> 
> i'll probably do it

It is Jyn’s every intention to ignore the knocking on her door, just as she’s been doing all day, but the way Cassian says her name is so affectionate, so concerned, that she forces herself out of bed and slumps against the door.

“I’m fine, Cassian. Whatever Bodhi told you is an exaggeration.”

“Jyn, please.” and that’s all he has to say, that’s all it takes for her to let him in.

She retreats to the bed before he can really assess her. He follows without turning on the light, which is good because she’d probably vomit if he did. Her head is pounding as she lays it against her pillow and she bites back a groan. Cassian curls up beside her, his usual warmth paling in comparison to her burning skin.

“I went to the medbay.” she says with a breathy little laugh, “I’m not dying.”

“No, but you didn’t accept the medication they suggested.”

“We’re in the middle of a supply shortage. I’m not worth it.”

It’s a poor choice of words, she knows before she’s finished, because his entire body tenses up in preparation to argue, but she’s too tired to listen, so she just melts against him and sighs.

“Just stay with me, love. That’s all I need.”

He still wants to fight about this, she can feel it, but Cassian is a humble man and knows when he’s beaten, so he pulls up the covers and tucks them in, and for the first time in days, Jyn sleeps peacefully.


	7. He never has to ask. She can tell just by looking at him - the rigidity of his stance, the hard angle of his jaw, his mouth set in a tight grimace.

He never has to ask. She can tell just by looking at him - the rigidity of his stance, the hard angle of his jaw, his mouth set in a tight grimace. She powers down her data pad and gestures for him to join her on the bed. He does, lifting his arms so she can pull off his shirt. Her hands stay on his skin as he eases onto his stomach, his muscles screaming in protest. 

She starts with his shoulders where the pain is least intense. He gives in to the temptation to close his eyes as her hands work over his body, solid yet impossibly gentle. Normally she works in silence, but he can tell by her energy that she’s dying to tell him something. 

“I stopped by Chirrut’s training session today.” He hums in acknowledgment. “You won’t believe it.” 

“Bodhi actually went on the offensive, for once?” 

“More than that. He won the match.” Cassian grunts a laugh. “He did!” 

“Against who?” 

“Tonc.” 

Cassian scoffs. “Tonc let him win.” 

“I wish you’d have more faith in our boy.” 

“I have plenty of faith in him. I also know Tonc is madly in love with him and would throw the match in a heartbeat.” 

The last syllable comes out a little strangled as she gets closer to the base of his spine. They never talk during this part. Jyn listens intently to his breathing, knowing he’ll never explicitly say when he’s in pain. She takes the cues his body gives her and adjusts her hands accordingly. 

When the worst of it is over, her hands travel all the way back up to his shoulders. Her thumbs work in diligent circles and he knows the therapy aspect of this is over. Everything she’s doing now is simply meant to relax him. It’s when she begins to hum - a melody her mother taught her that’s words are long forgotten - that he truly lets go. 


	8. Cassian is fucking ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pending title: frustrated bisexual writes fanfic about frustrated bisexual as means of coping

Cassian is fucking ridiculous.   
He’s been fantasizing about this moment for  _months_ , and now that it’s happening, he can’t move.   
Jyn Erso is half naked in his bunk, flushed and panting and  _kriffing hell he wants_ _her_ , but he can’t move.   
Confusion, then worry, taints the desire in her eyes as she sits up.   
“What’s wrong?” she breathes, and he wants to kick himself for ruining the moment.   
“Nothing,” he says quickly, “nothing I just…” he meets her eyes and forces himself to say it, “I’ve never been with a woman before.”   
She blinks at him, the tension in her shoulders easing.   
“You’re a virgin?”   
The blood leaves his face in a violent rush.   
“No! No, I’m not a virgin I’ve just… never been with a  _woman_.”   
Why are the words so difficult to find? He’s been attracted to both sexes for as long as he can remember. He’s never been ashamed of it before, he still isn’t, so why is he struggling to tell her?  
Jyn raises a coy eyebrow, “Do you not know where to put it?”   
The look on his face must be utterly priceless, because her smile gives way to an eruption of laughter. Cassian sits back on his heels.   
“You’re making fun of me.” he says, a little incredulous.   
“No, love.” she says, still laughing, reaching for his hand, “I’m not.”   
He shoots her a look.   
“Okay, maybe a little bit.” she pulls his hand into her lap, running her thumbs across his palm, “Cassian, did you think I would mind? You liking men?”   
He sighs and shifts a little closer, “No. I know you’re not that kind of person.”   
She smiles softly and brings his hand to her lips. The anxieties ease out of his body as she burrows herself into his side, hugging him tightly.   
He can hear the smile in her voice, “You really don’t know where to put it, do you?”   
He shoves her to the other side of the bunk, another laugh knocked out of her when she hits the pillows. He crawls over her, hunger returning tenfold.  
“I know where to put it.” he growls, bending to run his mouth across her jaw.   
She grins, “Prove it.”


	9. Cassian is certain that if not for Bodhi’s hand on his shoulder, he would have separated the med droid’s head from its body.

 

Cassian is certain that if not for Bodhi’s hand on his shoulder, he would have separated the med droid’s head from its body.

“Just tell me whether or not she’s stable.” He spits, betraying the neutral expression he’s fighting to maintain.

“As I have previously stated, Major Andor, I cannot disclose Captain Erso’s medical information to you, as you are not her commanding officer.”

He doesn’t have time for this. Draven’s summoned him to participate in a meeting with the visiting senators, which will take hours. Anything could happen to Jyn within that time.  

“Hey, it’s okay.” Bodhi says softly. “I’ll stay here.”

_ So she won’t be totally alone if something goes wrong _ , Cassian thinks bitterly. Still, she’ll have family with her and that will have to be enough.

 

* * *

 

Draven should have dismissed Cassian ten minutes into the meeting. Even a novice spy should be able to tell that his mind is far away from whatever the senators are discussing. The events from earlier are replaying in his head: the ship entering the hangar, K-2 coming down the ramp, Cassian taking a moment to recognize the bleeding, grime covered thing in his arms as  _ Jyn.  _ The rest was a blur. The feeling of her hand in his ( _ so cold)  _ until the medics whisked her away, leaving him with a million questions and a voice desperately whispering  _ not her, not her, not her. _

“Major Andor,” his blinks and looks across the table at Mon Mothma, who wears a sympathetic expression, “You’re dismissed.”

She offers no further explanation and Cassian doesn’t wait for one. Draven stutters as Cassian salutes and turns to leave, but Mothma launches into the next part of the discussion before anyone can object.

He rushes to the medical wing, unsure if his feet are even touching the ground. He evades the nurses in the intensive care unit, scanning the beds for Jyn or Bodhi. When he doesn’t find them, his heart jumps into his throat but he shoves it back down and slips into the small adjacent hallway that leads to the bacta tanks. His feet skid to a hault when he sees Bodhi and then his blood freezes.

Jyn’s pale skin is almost translucent in the harsh light of the tank. Abrasions mar her chest, arms and stomach. There are several new scars, probably caused by debris from the explosion. How had K-2 managed to get her out? Get her home  _ alive _ ?

Cassian has no control over his expression. He can imagine it’s quite pitiful because the moment Bodhi turns around he has his arms around Cassian.

“No internal bleeding.” He says in a violent exhale, like the words have been trying to escape him for hours. “Major concussion. Seventy-six stitches, but she’s okay. She’s okay.”

 

* * *

 

He wakes when she does, lifting his head from where it rested beside her thigh on the bed. His back is stiff and his hip is screaming, but as soon as she opens her eyes all of that falls to the back of his mind.

“Hey.” He says dumbly.

She blinks at him slowly. “Cass- “ She grimaces at the hoarseness of her own voice, then swallows and tries again. “Cassian?”

“Explosion while you were on Cato. K-2 got you out.”

She closes her eyes and lets her head fall back against the pillow. “Bet he’ll enjoy reminding me of that.”

Cassian huffs a little laugh but the tightness of his chest keeps any sound from escaping. His knuckles brushes against her thigh, needing to feel her.

“They wouldn’t tell me anything,” he says weakly, “when you were first brought in. I’m not your commanding officer. I didn’t know… anything.”

“So marry me.” When his eyes widen and his mouth parts, she shrugs. “That way they have to notify you.”

Cassian experiences a hundred emotions in the span of an instant. His fingers feel electrified as they reach into the breast pocket of his jacket and pull out the thin metal band that has been living there for months. This time she goes slack jawed and his confidence inflates a little bit.

“You make an excellent point.” He says coyly. She just keeps glancing between him and the ring, so he goes into the explanation he’s rehearsed. “I know you won’t be able to wear it on missions, but wedding bands are a tradition on – “

“Aria Prime.” She finishes. “My parents had matching bands.”

Cassian nods. Lyra’s profile had listed her home planet, which led him to researching the engagement customs there. He hadn’t known about Jyn’s parents. He simply liked the idea.

“So will you?” He says, the nerves he hadn’t given much thought coming full force, now. “Marry me?”

“Of course, but…” she holds up her heavily bandaged arm, “I think you may need to hold on to the ring for a while.”


	10. Jyn is numb.

Jyn is numb.

Ever since… ever since the mission and their dire escape from Christophsis she’s been operating completely on autopilot. Perhaps if anyone was paying close attention, they would notice the strange heaviness in her voice or the haunted look in her eyes, but there is too much adrenalin, too much wonder at the fact that they’d out run death, yet again. No one notices when she slips out of the main hold, a phantom disappearing into the shadows.

* * *

 

They do notice. All of them.

* * *

 

A few minutes later, the cabin door hisses open. She remains in front of the fresher’s tiny mirror, bone-white knuckles gripping the edge of the sink. Cassian waits in the doorway, reading the cues in her body language. She doesn’t want him to touch her, not yet.

“Can I do anything?” It’s a quiet plea, for both of their sakes.

Jyn meets his eyes in the mirror, forcing herself to take even breaths.

“No, love.” She shakes her head. Her smile is tight. “It’s nothing.” He doesn’t even react to the lie, just stands there, his eyes soft and patient. She sighs, “It’s ridiculous.”

Her body uncoils from over the sink and he finally closes the gap between them.

“It’s not.” He assures her, hands tracing the length of her arms. “Tell me.”

Jyn closes her eyes and remembers it all. The mission going sideways. Their mad dash through the city streets. Somehow they’d gotten separated. How, _how_ had that happened? A trooper had her pinned and across the alley she could see Cassian. At least ten troopers stood between them. He couldn’t get to her, not that way, so he… he…

Jyn swallows hard. “When I was on the ground and you couldn’t get to me… you had to go around to that side street.”

Cassian nods. “There were too many troopers. I had to find another way.”

“I know, I know, _I know._ It’s ridiculous. You were being smart. You came right back, but… you left, and for a moment it just felt like…”

Like _this is it. He’s gone._

Cassian’s eyes widen just a fraction. “You thought I was abandoning you?”

Jyn ducks her head. “I know you never would but for a moment…”

_For a moment I was back in that bunker._

She takes a breath so deep it almost hurts and says, “I watched Saw leave.”

“What?”  
“From the bunker where I was hiding, I could see him. I watched him looking in the direction I’d gone. Then he turned away and left.” Jyn weaves her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair. “I know you’d never betray me, Cassian. It’s just in that moment I was sixteen again, watching Saw turn his back on me.”

She can’t really bare the look on his face – devastated that he’d indirectly caused her any pain – so she presses her forehead into his shoulder and closes her eyes. His arms lock around her in an embrace that tells her _home._

He kisses the top of her head and murmurs into her hair. “I’m sorry, estrella.”

“It’s okay.” And deep down, she knows it is.


	11. Jyn has been staring at the ceiling of the hull for at least an hour.

Jyn has been staring at the ceiling of the hull for at least an hour. She knows this because she’s regained most of the function in her arms. Give it a few more hours and the toxin should be completely out of her system. At least that’s what Kay said… before he left her on the kriffing floor.

Their target had barely managed to scratch Jyn with the knife, but that was all it took. The poison’s effects were almost immediate, her limbs lagging far behind her thoughts. By the time Jyn had escaped to the ship, she was completely numb from the neck down.

That’s how Kay had found her, laying half inside the hull, hall on the retracting cargo ramp. He’d unceremoniously dragged her aboard, pried the data chip from her frozen grip, and gotten the ship into hyperspace. And then he’d just kriffing _left her here_. Granted, he’d already confirmed that the toxin wasn’t lethal, just paralyzing, but still.

Jyn has spent that majority of that hour imagining ways to dismantle him when the cursed droid tumbles back into the hull. She can turn her head to look at him, but it’s slow and takes all of her concentration.

“When we get back to base,” she tries to point an accusatory finger at him, but her arm just kind of flops pathetically in his direction, “I’m telling Cassian you left me on the floor.”

“Go ahead. I will tell him you went in alone despite his instructions not to.”

“I was being smart. You needed to have the ship ready for immediate take off.”

“Perhaps we would not have needed to take off immediately if you had not gone in alone.”

Jyn growls because _damn it_ , he has a point. Still, she stands – or lays here – by her decision. Kay would have slowed her down. Jyn works better alone… or she’s used to it, anyway. That’s why she took this assignment in the first place. Kay’s only here because Cassian all but begged her to bring him. Some of her anger dissipates at the thought because, well, it’s _Cassian_.

K-2’s hydraulics whine as he bends down and extends his hands toward her. Jyn’s instincts volley her heart into her throat.

“What are you doing?”

Kay pauses but doesn’t retract his hands. “I am carrying you back to your room, though I would advise going to the cockpit, instead. Sitting up right will increase circulation in – “

“No.” She spits reflexively. Some part of her mind is aware that she’s being utterly ridiculous, but it’s drowned out by her pulse pounding in her ears. Kay jus stares, and she wishes so badly that she could just disappear. “I’ll manage on my own.”

“You were just complaining about being left here.”

 “I know, I know, I know, but...” There’s a dark feeling pulling at her chest. Of course she doesn’t want to be left here, but it’s just occurring to her how vulnerable she, right now. The idea of letting someone near her, not only that, but giving them completely control of her body, sends a wave of panic over her. Gritting her teeth, Jyn says, “That was when I couldn’t even move my arms. I can manage, now.”

She throws all of her weight into sitting up. It sort of works. Once she’s there, she can’t hold herself up (because she mostly lied about moving her arms) and she begins to pitch to the side. Kay grips her shoulders, keeping her upright. Even through the paralysis, Jyn can feel her cheeks flaming.

“You cannot manage.” The droid says flatly.

“Leave me alone, Kay.” She almost adds a _please_ because _karking hells_ , she doesn’t want to do this. Her voice is so disgustingly small when she admits, “I don’t like being carried.”

K-2 remains where he is, looking at her in a way that Jyn thinks is intently. “Why?”

She blinks. “What?”

“Why do you not like being carried?”

Tucking her chin as far as she can into her chest, Jyn grumbles. “Because I’ve never been able to trust someone enough to do that.”

Rely on no one but yourself. It was the most important lesson both of her fathers had taught her, and the cruel, unrelenting galaxy made sure she never forgot.

“Oh.” Kay almost sounds disappointed, like he was hoping for a challenge. Jyn raises a defensive eyebrow. “That makes sense given the context of your upringing.”

“But?” she says, daring him to continue.

“But you have a family, now. You can trust us.” Jyn’s so floored she can’t even respond, so Kay goes on. “That’s what Cassian says, that ‘Rogue One is our family and we take care of one another.’ I explained to him that as a droid, I do not have a _family_ , per say, but I am admittedly more invested in the well-being of the five of you than other organics.” His head swivels between her and the wall behind her. “If you still do not wish to be carried, I will at least drag you to the wall so that you can remain sitting.”

Jyn can’t reach up to grip her necklace, but its warmth sinks deep into her chest. She nods and Kay maneuvers her so that her back is against the wall, crates on either side keeping her upright. He starts toward the cockpit when she calls out and he stops. He may not care, but she offers a small, grateful smile.

“I’ll get there.” She says.

Kay nods once. “I believe that.” And she knows he does.


	12. Word of the Death Star spreads like wildfire across the galaxy.

Word of the Death Star spreads like wildfire across the galaxy. People separated by lightyears weep together for the loss of Jedha, rejoice for the victory at Scarif. Rogue One becomes legendary, their praises sung in as many languages as there are stars. But no legend is finite. No story is immune to the evolution of time.

Generations have passed when a father regales his children with stories of a phoenix who had stardust in her eyes and a heart made of kyber. He tells them the story of her first death, occurring deep within the earth, inside a bunker where she’d stowed herself away. The peace and comfort she had known in her life before burned away, and when she was born again she became a child of war.

Her second death was much the same, although something darker rose from the ashes. Betrayal had seared her kyber heart and left simmering hate where trust once lived. She became a creature of shadow, a ghost in the wind.

Her spirits blackened with each death, yet no matter how many lives she lived or how many names she took, the stardust in her eyes would not dim.

Eventually the shadows could no longer hide her and she was imprisoned in a place where even the brightest flames were extinguished. This place was hopelessness manifested and the phoenix was certain she would meet her final death; that this place would burn away what remained of her soul and nothing would be left.

Then the fates shifted. Her endurance was rewarded with a single chance – a chance for atonement, for freedom, for rebirth. She found creatures much like herself, wayward embers in need of home, in need of family. Together they took on the darkness and the phoenix faced the shadows of her past. She blinded them with her light, blazing with the fury of a star. And in the final battle, when the very earth beneath their feet was reduced to ash, the phoenix rose again.


	13. Jyn’s actions have always been driven by necessity.

Jyn’s actions have always been driven by necessity. When she needed to eat, she stole food. When she needed to disappear, she changed her name. When she needed a release, there was always some imperial that could use a good beating. She still operates on that simple algorithm, only her needs have changed.   
She doesn’t need the food her friends keep offering her. She doesn’t need the rest they keep suggesting. What she needs is for the med-droid to walk out of that room and tell her that Bodhi is going to be fine. She needs to see him, hear his voice, hold his hand and know that he’s okay.

Chirrut sits beside Baze on the opposite end of the hallway, head bowed in prayer. K-2 is unusually quiet, dealing with his anxieties in his own way. Cassian is- oh, Cassian is right in front of her, saying something earnest. She blinks at him.  

  
“Sorry, what?” 

  
Cassian looks even graver, bracing his hands against her shoulders. 

  
“I asked if you’d take a walk with me?” he continues quickly before she can reject him, “A very, very short walk. Just to get out of this hallway. Kay can comm us if anything happens.” 

  
When she shakes her head, he closes the space between them so their foreheads are touching. 

  
“Please, Jyn.” 

  
Taking a deep breath, she pulls back and meets his eyes. He looks as stricken as she feels, and she knows that she isn’t helping anything by refusing help. Bodhi’s his family, too, and Cassian needs her support just as much as she needs his. 

  
“Okay,” she sighs, and some of the tension in his shoulders eases. 

  
They make their way out of the med-bay arm-in-arm, weaving through the narrow halls until she realizes Cassian is actively avoiding any path leading to the main hangar. That’s where their decimated ship would be, evidence of the crash that had left Bodhi in critical condition.

   
She stops mid-step, cold dread suddenly seizing control of her body. Desperation punches the air out of her lungs, leaving her dizzy. 

  
“Jyn?” 

  
She shuts her eyes so tight it hurts, thoughts running in circles. 

  
_He has to be okay. He has to be okay. He has to be okay._  

  
_It isn’t fair. He’s survived too much. It isn’t-_

  
“Jyn, look at me.” 

  
He is speaking in that voice she swears was created only for her, the only one that can reach her when she’s this lost in her own mind. She allows him to cup her face in his hands while she latches onto the lapels of his jacket. 

  
“I know it’s war.” she says breathlessly, “I know war comes with losses, I just… I’m not ready to…” 

  
_I’m not ready to lose you, any of you._

  
That’s the truth of it, and it terrifies her. She’s spent most of her life without a family, and now that she’s found one it’s more essential to her than air. 

  
“Hey, hey,” Cassian coaxes, and Jyn finally opens her eyes, “our boy’s strong, yeah?” she nods, “Whatever happens, Bodhi’s going to need us.” 

  
There’s something behind his eyes that’s hesitant, waiting for her affirmation. 

  
She considers a moment, then echoes, “Bodhi needs us.”

  
His lips twitch upward in what may have become a smile if his comm didn’t go off. 

  
“Cassian, you two should return to the med-bay. Inform Jyn Erso that it’s good news, so that she doesn’t destroy anything.” 

The message hardly finishes before Jyn has Cassian by the arm, sprinting back the way they’d come.


	14. Cassian finds her in their bedroom, wearing grooves into the floor with her relentless pacing.

Cassian finds her in their bedroom, wearing grooves into the floor with her relentless pacing. One hand is pressed against the base of her spine and the other runs idly over her swollen stomach. Her expression is locked in a deep frown and she doesn’t seem to even notice him until he intercepts her path. His hands go to her shoulders, steadying her, and he watches her blink back into the present, his smile coaxing the corners of her lips upward. She opens her mouth to speak, but suddenly gasps and twists her face into a grimace. Cassian furrows his brows, his hand immediately going to her stomach. On cue, the baby kicks against his palm.

Jyn winces a little. “She’s restless tonight.”

Cassian hums in acknowledgment, bending down to replace his hand with his lips. “A little troublemaker, just like Chirrut said she’d be.” Jyn rolls her eyes, though the fondness shines through. Cassian snakes his arms around her and brings her as close as their child will allow. “Is this what’s been bothering you?”

 “What do you mean?” she pouts, but they know each other too well by now. With a sigh she admits, “I don’t know. It’s just…” she glances down, “ten more weeks.”

“Yeah.” Cassian can’t help the way his chest balloons with excitement.

Jyn concedes a little smile, but there’s still something daunting in her expression. “Do you feel ready?” she exhales, like she’s been holding this in all day.

“No.” Cassian says immediately. Jyn looks flabbergasted and they both erupt with laughter. After a breath, he says, “I’m ready to meet her, definitely. And the rest we’ll figure out together.” His hands move from her stomach to her face, running his thumbs along the rise of her cheeks. “Remember,” he says, thinking back to another life, “I’m with you all the way.”

“All the way.” She echoes, closing the distance between them.


	15. Jyn’s been looking for an excuse to leave this party since it started.

Jyn’s been looking for an excuse to leave this party since it started. Seeing Bodhi sneak out when no one was looking seems like as good a reason as any.

She’s not obvious - how many times in her life has she had to tail someone? - when she follows him to a storage room several corridors apart from the main hangar, where the festivities show no signs of slowing. There’s a voice in the back of her mind telling her to shove off and leave him alone, but she’s already opening the door and slipping inside.

She thinks it says something about their relationship that he doesn’t look the least bit surprised. He inclines his head and she joins him on the floor, their backs against opposite storage crates, their legs touching slightly. They sit in silence for a long time until cheers echo from the hangar and they both glance toward the door.

Bodhi says, “It’s kind of shit how we’re the most socially awkward people in the Rebellion and they decide it’s a good idea to have a party in  _our_  honor.”

Jyn smirks. “You know Chirrut is  _loving_  this.”

He laughs. “Alright, yeah. Probably K-2, as well.”

Jyn sits up from the wall, mimicking the droid’s perpetual slouch. “There was a 99.999% chance of failure.” She mocks. “It was because of my sacrifice that we survived.”

Bodhi snorts, which makes Jyn laugh, too. He shakes his head. “At least he could just download himself into a new body, whereas we…” he holds up his hands, scars from the explosion peeking out past the cuffs of his jacket, “we’re stuck.”

Jyn can’t think of anything to say to that, so she just presses her leg against his. Not too hard, because he’s right. They’re still healing, but they’ll get there. Together.


	16. Jyn works well in front of an audience.

Jyn works well in front of an audience. Most of the time she’d rather be alone, sure, but the weighted gazes never throw her off her game. It’s easy to pretend they don’t matter – because they don’t – and focus on the task at hand. That being said, the decent sized crowd that has formed around her sparring lesson is really starting to piss her off. From an aerial view, they probably look like a target, with Jyn in the center, her students circling her, and half of the kriffing rebellion circling them.  

“It’s because you’re such a good teacher!” bright-eyed Private Mivera would say, but Mivera kisses ass like it’s his life’s purpose, so she ignores him.  More likely is that their audience enjoys watching recruits get the wind knocked out of them.

Inclining her head, Jyn barks, “Salen. Mivera. In the center.”

The Devaronian tenses from the tips of her horns to her toes, whereas Mivera swaggers into the ring with a grin. Jyn turns away before he can make a flippant remark and comes up beside Salen.

“What are you looking for?” Jyn whispers.

Salen frowns. “Ma’am?”

“What will you be looking for during this fight?”

Jyn’s spent enough time with this unit. She knows them. Salen is more reserved than the rest of the recruits, but she’s always watching, analyzing every match. She knows what to look for, by now.

Worrying her bottom lip, Salen says, “Mivera likes to go on the offensive. He’s good, but he can get cocky.” Jyn raises an eyebrow, prompting her to continue, “He’s impatient. I’ll hold back until he gets sloppy, until he gets reckless. Then I’ll go for it.”

The corner of Jyn’s mouth quirks upward ever so slightly. She nods and moves to stand amongst the inner circle of students. Mivera looks uneasily between her and Salen, no doubt wondering what they were discussing. Those nerves steel into controlled anger as he crouches into his stance. He makes the first move, as Salen had predicted, and the match it on.

Jyn observes them carefully, making mental notes on their form and tactics. Movement at the far end of the gym catches her eye. He’s just a shadow in the door way, and there’s at least twenty people between them, but she would know him anywhere.

Cassian offers her a small nod and an even smaller smile. According to him, this crowd has something to do with her.

“You’re incredible in a fight.” He’d said one night, seemingly by accident. When he realized he’d spoken aloud, he quickly clarified, “I mean you’re a good fighter, obviously, but just… just  _ watching you  _ is amazing.”

He’d gotten so red, Jyn was afraid what would happen if she didn’t change the subject. Still, she thinks about that often – more often than she’d care to admit. Salen hits the ground hard, snapping Jyn’s attention back to the fight. The Devaronian rolls to avoid a kick and is back on her feet, skittering to get out of Mivera’s reach. He swings wildly.

“Don’t leave yourself open, Mivera.” Jyn says coolly.

If it had been her fight, Mivera would be on his ass by now, but getting Salen to go on the offensive is like pulling teeth.

“May I interrupt, Ms Erso?” a smooth voice says from behind, but Jyn keeps her eyes on the fight.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing, Calrissian?”

He chuckles, “Charming as ever.”

Jyn eyes him suspiciously and scans the crowd until she spies the smuggler and his Wookiee companion. Han is looking at her expectantly, but averts his gaze as soon as she spots him. Chewbacca gives an apologetic shrug.

“What do you want?” she sighs.

“To study at the hands of a master.” He nudges one of the privates out of the way and comes to stand beside her. “You’ve made quite a name for yourself in the Rebellion.”

“Believe me, that wasn’t intentional.”

Mivera throws another sloppy punch and this time Salen goes in for a strike. Some crowd members cheer.

“You’ve taught them well.” Lando says, inching closer to her. “Mind teaching me?”

Normally Jyn sends anyone dumb enough to flirt with her away with a bruised ego or a broken nose, but there’s no part of her that suspects Lando is being genuine. Instead, she eyes Han, who keeps glancing between them and Cassian. Realization sinks into the pit of her stomach. The look on her face must be terrifying, because Lando shrinks back from her.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” He insists. “Han put me up to it.”

“No shit.” She says, storming into the center of the floor and refusing to look at him for the rest of the session.

* * *

Lando should have left right then, but he doesn’t. He waits until Jyn dismisses the recruits and people start to disperse. He’s halfway across the training floor when she barks, “Not so fast, Calrissian.”

He shoots Han a pleading look, who puts up his hands helplessly and turns to go until Jyn says, “You too, Solo.”

Chewie laughs as the Captain’s eyes go wide and his amused expression vanishes. The four of them connect in the center of the room and despite Jyn’s size, her presence is definitely the most demanding.

“What the hell were you getting at, Han? Sending Lando to be your… your…”

“Hey, hey, hey, settle down there, Sergeant. My intentions are pure.”

He calls trying to manipulate Cassian’s feelings by having Lando flirt with her  _ pure _ .

“You have thirty seconds to convince me not to break your jaw.”

“Andor’s got the hots for you.” He says, so simply that it completely throws her off. “You’ve got the hots for him. You both know it. We all know it. It was time for somebody to take action. You guys need to stop with the heart-eyes and unnecessary touching and get it together already.”

“ _ Unnecessary touching _ ?” Jyn is fuming.

“What Han means,” Lando interjects, “is we all want to see you happy, so we think it’s time you both stop denying your feelings for each other and clear the air.”

“Never mind that you’re all insane.” she says, to which Chewie asks not to be involved, “You’re plan is bantha shit. You thought some poor attempts at flirting and a smolder would make Cassian jealous?” Lando and Han just kind of look at each other. Jyn rolls her eyes. “Kirffing idiots.” She starts toward the door. “Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again!”

* * *

“What was that about?” Cassian asks later that evening when she shows up in his room.

“What was what?”

He raises an eyebrow. “You looked like you were ready to strangle Lando after training today.”

“Oh,” she says dumbly. “yeah.”

She shifts awkwardly on her feet. Damn Solo, damn Calrissian, damn their stupid plan and putting these ridiculous thoughts in her head about Cassian and what he wants and…

“He was trying to get a reaction out of you.” The words burst out before she can stop them. Immediately she wants to be anywhere else in the galaxy.

Cassian blinks at her and she can see his expression struggle between confusion and caution.

“What do you mean?”

Kriff. There’s no undoing it now, is there? Kriff, kriff, kriff.

“He was flirting with me,” she has to punch the words out, “because he wanted you to react. He… thinks we should be together.”

Cassian is silent for far too long of a moment and she thinks she might just explode. Eventually he says, “What do you think?”

Jyn gapes at him and gives a little disbelieving laugh. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make me say it.”

“Say what?”

Jyn balls her hands into fists, squaring off like she about to battle a foe instead of her emotions. “I’ve never had a partner before. Someone to watch my back. Someone I trust completely.” She forces herself to me his eyes. “Someone to welcome me home.”

She feels like she’s a part of the floor, so she’s glad when he makes the decision to move closer. There’s something about being in the space, alone with him, that makes her feel safe enough to keep talking. “I… you don’t understand what you mean to me… and not just as my partner or my friend but…  _ karking hells,  _ Cassian, I love you.”

His expression is blank and she want to do nothing more than turn and run, so that’s exactly what she does. She gets as far as the door when his hand closes around her wrist.

“Jyn, wait!”

She doesn’t want to, but she’s gotten very,  _ very  _ bad at denying him. She turns to face him and is surprised when he reaches out to cup her face. His eyes are so deep, so sincere, it takes the air from her lungs.

“I didn’t realize how empty I was until I met you.” His breath tantalizes her skin. “You’ve changed my life more than you’ll ever know, Jyn. I –“

He closes his eyes like the words are hard, and she understands. Her hands find his face and he looks at her as if she’s a star.

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> these works are also on my tumblr, rose-of-gabriel, under #minifics


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